TWYCKWICK AMENITIES Thank you for paying us a visit. Our aim is to make your experience as comfortable as possible. SAFETY FIRST Please be aware you may encounter the odd "natural" challenge:  You may need to evacuate if required:  JUST TO MAKE SURE These Rules have been prepared to make things easier for you. Feel free to copy and frame the Rules Document - it may be useful in your own dunny. HISTORICALLY SIGNIFICANT Excerpts from the records of the Night Cart Workers. Paying a Penny to the Night Cart Workers of Yesteryear. A Princess and a Wee Piglet Read the Stories... Scatological Humour Warning: If, during your visit, you become "excrementally- challenged", you may be a victim of Scatology. This dreaded science of obsession with excrement, putresence and bodily functions of a visceral nature is totally invasive. A strong dose of humour is the only known antidote. If symptoms persist in humans (as in a good case of the scours), we recommend... an 8-oz glass of water, 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar and sip it slowly. Never, ever take apple cider vinegar straight and seek advice before taking if unsure. If you're still crook after a while go find a doc to help you. Further warning: It has been reported that a lot of the old country docs used to be too drunk to help anybody, so choose your practitioner wisely and hope that by now they have woken up to the dangers of the demon drink. If really serious, try and find an ER or at least some old village hag who can advise you. And on that note... A Message from the Twyckwick Village Hag A glass of water and 1/2 an inch of original Pub raspberry cordial cures the scours in both animals and humans. Surely you remember that one, don't you? If not, try and find a Pub that still sells the stuff. And no... you can't get it in the supermarket - it won't work! We'll publish other findings as they become available. |
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Dated: 15th November, 2017
Background and content images sourced from www.grsites.com, Heather's Animations.